If you are the parent of small children it is probable that you would like a break from answering their ‘why’ questions!… “Why can’t I stand on the counter?” “Why is my pee yellow?” “Why do I have to eat vegetables?” and on and on it goes. It can be so exasperating!

As they get older, those queries become more complicated and it should lead us to ask ourselves seriously the question of why we want them to do or not to do something. The issues that seem to suddenly become such big deals, with teens especially, really don’t need to get to this point.

I remember a lesson that I learned one day when we were expecting company for dinner. I was giving our three kids the “Behave yourselves, don’t fight with each other, use your manners” speech, when Jay said “Mom, is this just about your pride…we don’t have a perfect family, so why pretend that we do when we have visitors over?”

My first reaction was to get angry with him, but as I reflected on his words I said “Jay, you are right, to a point. But not all of this is about my pride. I also really want our guests to enjoy themselves and not be made to feel uncomfortable listening to you guys fight. Have you ever been at someone’s house when they are fighting? How did that make you feel?”

Jay then became so gentle and he said he understood where I was coming from.

I think of all the other questions we were asked and how it pushed us to do lots of praying and thoughtfully considering our answers. Thankfully, God started to work on the ‘whys’ in US…. “Why are we really not allowing him to go there, why are we concerned about those baggy pants with his underwear showing, why should we make a big deal about his messy room, why should dreads bother us, why don’t we want them all to sleep in the back yard, why am I bothered about how much make-up she is wearing?” …and so on.

We soon discovered that many times the primary reason for our answer was our concern was about what others would think of us as parents if we allowed our kids to do certain things…it had nothing to do with morality!  Following this realization, we decided that our pride was not going to be the basis of our decisions made in regards to answering our kids ‘why’ questions.

Karen