It seems that I am apparently quite an expressive person, especially when I am in a conversation that is uncomfortable or when I am trying to make someone understand my point of view. As a result of this, our daughter sometimes says “Mom, fix your face”!
After spending the weekend with 32 other women at a retreat these past few days, I am beginning to think that many people need to say to their parents “Fix your WORDS”
Our parents words to us, no matter what our age, have such an affect on us, for good or bad. For some, a statement made when they were very young, has stayed with them for a lifetime.
One woman told us that as an adult, her Mom told her that she is an embarrassment to her parents and another girl said her Mom told her she’d never find a man at the size she was (She proved her very wrong, by the way)
Parents, what is rewarded is reinforced, and what is reinforced is repeated. What are your kids hearing from you these days? Will it encourage them to do better or just be a discouragement to them? There is great power in your words… ‘Fix’ them now before it is too late:)
Love,
Karen

How long has it been,  Parents,  since you had a ‘good’ fight with your kids? 11Timothy 4:7 says “..I have fought the good fight”, but have you?
For years I believed that, we,  as a family,  should never fight. I no longer believe that. As I have learned more about myself I realize that my reason for believing that was because I personally did not like confrontation, so rather than face that I avoided it as much as possible.
But I am discovering that a ‘good’ fight is such great learning tool that we can use to teach our kids. But if we are bully’s, control freaks or ‘need to be right’ types, this likely will not work.
When we kindly confront and ’speak the truth in love’ and show concern for the child, then it will have such a impact on them. Allowing them to express their anger, hurt and/or frustration while giving them freedom to vent their emotions helps them believe that we want what’s best for them. To really be hearing them and trying to understand will have a huge positive impact as well…
Love,
Karen

“Mama! Why is there red letters in my Bible”?

When our oldest son had recently been given his own Bible, that is one of the first questions he asked me.

It really was a joy for me to tell him that those are the words that Jesus said Himself to His followers (and to us too).

As I have been thinking about this lately, I have been putting together some of those verses and thought it would be a great guide for parents to teach them to our kids.

Here are a few:

“Love your enemies and pray for them”

“You cannot serve both God and money”

“..Do not worry”

“In everything, do to other what you would have them do to you”

“Anyone who hears these words of Mine and puts them into practice is wise”

“Do not be afraid”

“Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”

“What good is it if a man gains the whole world but loses his soul”?

I strongly believe that good character trumps all else.

What are your kids learning from you? Do they hear you tell ‘little white lies’. Do they witness you pretending you are not home when you don’t wish to speak to someone? Do they hear you always yearning for more stuff, more money, more vacations, more time for self etc.?

We need to be teaching them what a person of good character looks like. Guiding them so that they learn that honesty, compassion, caring for others, forgiving, being trustworthy, generous and faith-filled should be top priority in their lives.

Keep reading the ‘Red Letter Edition’ of the Bible.

It will change you as you begin to put it into practice and become a great teaching tool in the development of children with Godly characters.

Love,

Karen

Recently, as I was driving in our neighborhood, I noticed a fire hydrant covered completely in a bag that read “NOT IN SERVICE” .
Now try to imagine living in the home near that property and a fire erupts in your house. You call the Fire Department to come but when they arrive it is to no avail because the fire hydrant is NOT IN SERVICE!!!
As I pondered this, my thoughts led me to think about this  in the context of parenting. Likely, there are many children and teens who sometimes (or often) feel this way when it comes to their parents being available for them. Do you just get so busy, doing what you do, as a result you are just not there for your kids? Is making money, being in your comfort zone, putting your expectations and wishes over your kids etc. keeping you from being there when your kids want to be with you the most?
Regretfully, many parents realize, too late, that reaching their own financial, career advancement, relational, and personal goals have taken the place of spending those few short years with the children they loved and wanted to be close to.
Parents, please don’t let your kids frequently see that imaginary “Not in service” sign wrapped around you any longer.
Love,
Karen

Party Loot Bags

When our children were small, at every birthday party there was an expectation that as each visitor left the party they would receive a ‘loot bag’. Typically that was a bag full of candy and dollar store items that sometimes added up to the same cost as the gift the child brought to the party for the birthday child!!

One day I received a rather frantic phone call from my neighbor who had just moved to Ontario from Alberta. Apparently, where she came from that

tradition did not take place and she had a couple of little departing (spoiled and rather outspoken) partiers that were not happy with her because she did not have any loot bags to give them.

Children need to be taught that any gift given to them is just that…a gift.

It never should be expected or whined and fussed about if not given. In a culture where ‘stuff’ is glorified and almost worshipped, it is our job as parents to frequently remind our children that “PEOPLE are more important that things”, and live in such a way ourselves that teaches them we really believe this.

This also applies as they grow up when it comes to teaching them about sex. They need to know that sex is something that is a gift given from one person to another-God’s plan being within marriage-not an expectation or something that ever should be demanded of your spouse or by pressuring another to ‘give me some’. If a young person is taught early to respect the sexual act and when it is talked about in the home it is with proper words and dignity attached to it, this will affect their attitude towards not only the act of sex but to the opposite sex as well!

Love,

Karen