Have you ever been to a live production and were amazed by the lead role’s ability to memorize a ton of lines, act smoothly and appear so calm?…Now imagine the guy who lowers the curtain and cleans up backstage coming out and trying to fill that role.  It would be a disaster, for sure!

     As I thought of this in the context of parenting, I began to realize that sometimes we try to take the place of the Lead Role (God) with our kids. We teach them to become dependant on us and not on God. Do we sometimes act like we have the answers and that as long as we are available, God is just needed for ‘emergencies’ only or as their back-up plan?

     If we are in a habit ourselves of living for God and always including Him in all that we do, our kids will see this. They will learn by our example that “…apart from Him, we can do NOTHING”.

     The next time your child comes to you with a hurt, disappointment or disaster, remember to pray with them first before you give your own wisdom and insight. Teach them that God cares even about the smallest details of their lives.

     Have a great week!

     Love,

     Karen

How many of you got ‘the talk’ from one or both of your parents?

How did they do it? Did they hand you books to read or did they sit down and explain sex to you?

So many adults I talk to, that are my age or older, never even got ‘the talk’! I didn’t, but wish I had!

Parents you need to talk to your kids about sex! Forget about your discomfort and start the dialogue. If they don’t want to talk about it, take them for a car ride and lock the doors!!

Start by explaining what will happen at puberty (If you don’t know, then go online and find outJ) Then ask them what they have heard what sex is. If they are older than 10 they likely have heard all the slang terms, so be ready to explain what oral, anal and vaginal sex is in simple terms.

Tell them the very basics, usually by nine years of age, then as time goes on make sure they are knowledgeable about where their value comes from, about pregnancy, diseases, emotional attachment and what healthy relationships look like.

They need to know God’s standard of purity and why He commands it…for their protection and provision.

According to latest studies, your kids’ first source of sexual information is coming from the media, not you, so get in line and make sure that your voices are heard loudly and clearly by them, in the most loving way possible. (AND, be careful what you are allowing them to watch, read and listen to because the media’s influence is huge in their lives as a young person)

Pray lots…

Love,

Karen

When I was in grade six I loved baseball for one year of my life! The reason I did was because of a boy who lived next door to me who saved my life on the baseball field whenever we played. You see, Kim knew that I could really hit the ball far but could not run for my life, so he would let me bat and then he’d always run the bases for me. (It may have had something to do with the fact that I was only allowed to wear dresses and he felt sorry for me or feared I might trip over my skirt!! )

It was a perfect scenario….but they only allowed that in grade six, so that ended my interest or delight in playing baseball. After that year, whenever I heard the words “Batter Up” my stomach would get a knot in it just fearing the need to do the running myself!

There will be times in your kids’ lives when you will have to take the bat for them! I had to do that several times for our children and I have no regrets doing so.

I am not talking about bailing our kids out when they have made wrong choices or are in a bad situation as a result of their own actions. I am referring to the times when the child needs us to have their back and be the mediator on their behalf.

I had a situation with our youngest son when he was young. Of our three kids, he was the one who struggled the most with separation anxiety. On that particular day I had just found out that our friends’ son had taken his life and I was dropping Ben off at school as I was heading up North to the funeral and would be away for a few days.

As I drove away I looked in the rearview mirror to see a teacher in Ben’s face scolding him sternly and making him sob. I quickly turned the car around and went to Ben and asked him what had happened. Apparently, he had failed to greet her first, so she was angry about this. I took a moment to ask God to calm me down then I went directly to the teacher and ‘gave her a piece of my mind that I could not afford to lose’!!!…in the most Christian way possible! She was very apologetic and asked Ben to forgive her as well.

Our kids need to know that we have their backs and are willing to go to bat for them whenever needed…prayerfully, calmly and with a firm resolve to make the wrong right on their behalf! Look for those opportunities, as parents, to be watching for those occasions when you need to be the one up at bat for your precious kids!

Love,

Karen

Recently I was on a road in Elmira that was, by far, the worst Canadian road I have ever driven on. Without exaggerating there must have been 40 or 50 patches in the pavement in one block of road!! It was crazy trying to drive on it!

As I maneuvered the bumps and dips in the road I thought of how parents tend to do this sometimes in their kids’ lives. Instead of getting to the bottom of the issues we tend to fill the ‘potholes’ rather than address the deeper root of the problem at hand.

One example that brought this to mind came from a conversation I had with a Mom recently. She avoids confrontation at all cost, so instead of sitting down and talking with them, when her kids are angry with her or in a bad  mood, she will cook them their favorite food or take them out shopping and buy them whatever they want!!

Another example is when a child had climbed up on the counter and ate food he was told not to have, but instead of disciplining the child, the Mom said “Oh, that was my fault, I should have known not to leave his favorite pie on the counter”.

There also is this one Dad we know who refuses to correct his child or address his destructive behaviors. This poor child is disliked almost everywhere he goes because his Dad is constantly covering up for him or ignoring his unruly actions altogether!!

Parents, please hear me on this one…. It is no help to your children to ‘fill the potholes’ in their lives instead of asking questions, taking the time to talk with your kids- teaching them the right way to live!  Care enough to confront!

When you avoid working with them through their issues and do not address them, you are contributing to more struggles and greater pain later in their lives! Down the road there likely won’t be anyone there who will be willing to ignore, ‘fill in’ or cover up their messes for them…how, then, will they cope with life?

Love,

Karen

Ps…do it now!  Don’t wait until it looks like this!

With the economy the way it is at present, many people have great concerns about being in debt financially. But when it comes to the ‘debt’ they owe their kids, it sometimes gets put on the back burner until it is too late.
Here are a few things that we, as Dad and Mom, ‘owe’ our kids:

1. We owe it to them to teach them what responsibility means.
2. We need to teach them basic living skills-cooking, cleaning, managing money, personal hygiene etc.. before they leave home.  Or, how about things like taking the time to teach them how to ride a bike, throw/kick a ball, swim, or learn a sport that they enjoy?
3. Teach them to pursue who God made them to be, not what we want them to be.
4. They deserve to be taught at a young age where their value comes from…not from their looks, size, intelligence, athletic ability or money but from who God has made them to be.
5. The mindset that says “Our kids are our ‘slaves’” is so wrong…we need to teach them to serve by our example.
6. Above all, we owe it to them to present Jesus Christ to them in such a way that they are drawn to Him by our lives. We can do our best to do this by living our lives trusting Him completely, praying with them and for them and passionately pursuing the life He has planned for us and them!

Romans 13:8 sums it up well!:
“Don’t run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other…”

Love your kids by trying to live debt-free with them…you will not regret this choice!

Love,
Karen