Have you ever heard your teen say to you “Why are you tweakin’ on me”? I have, and I learned that it means ‘snapping’ or ‘throwing a fit’! Sometimes, do you find yourself acting just like a hormonal teenager when you are dealing with them?

As I have been thinking about this, I came up with a list of some of the things that drives them to the point of ‘tweaking’.  Hopefully this will help us have an improved understanding of their actions and reactions.

• Fear
• Being sleep deprived
• Allergies
• Problems with friends/relationships
• Feeling constantly controlled by parents
• Too much on their plate
• Unresolved issues with parents (unforgiveness)
• Frequent exposure to or in relationship with violent, negative or aggressive friends, movies/music/t.v.
• Guilt/Struggles with sinful habits
• Parents expectations too high

Helping them avoid getting to the point of ‘tweaking’ can be as simple as asking our kid’s questions like “Do I need to ask you for forgiveness for something”? or “I know this is a busy time for you , so can I help by doing something for you”? or “Have you done something that is making you feel bad that you want to talk with us about”? or “How much sleep did you get last night”? etc.

The need to be right all the time is a factor that some parents deal with as well.  Before you get to the point of ‘tweaking’ yourself, be sure you are taking the Christ-like way, humbling yourself and choosing to calmly communicate rather than bulldoze your way with them to prove your point or make them mind!:)

Praying you have a ‘tweak-free’ week!

Karen

1.     One of the best things we can do for our children is to demonstrate how much we love each other as their Dad and Mom.

God says:

“Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her”

“Wives respect your husbands”

2.     When we provoke our kids or hassle, inflame, aggravate, annoy and exasperate them, we are hindering many aspects of their growth.

God says:

“Father’s, do not provoke your children by coming down hard on them”

3.     We need to be welcoming our kids to come close to us and not be pushing them away like they are a hassle or an interruption in our lives.

Jesus said:

“Let the little children come close to me and don’t stop them!”

4.     Parents need to be examples of what it is like to be a great listener.

God says:

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”

5.     Generosity is usually caught not taught.  The example of a giving  parent often results in children that are generous and like to share with others.

God says:

“Good will come to him who gives generously and lends freely”

Have a great week as you begin to ask God to help you be the parent He wants you to be!

Karen

There seems to be an assumption, with some adults, that most teens are focused on their own comfort and have little concerns for the wants and needs of others. Although this is sometimes the case, I believe that for some young people, ‘the apple does not fall far from the tree’!

Parents, our children’s behaviors and attitudes are often a reflection of our own. Are they mirroring our way of treating those in the service industries; sales clerks, waitresses, nurses etc? How demanding do they see us? What do they see in us when we are cut off in traffic or tailgated? How do we behave when our spouse displeases us or does not get something done as soon as we would like them to?

The Bible tells us, “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not walk away from that.” Is our training and example to them worthy of them learning it well? Will it help lead them to a place of joy and contentment or will they always be in search of new ways of making others be responsible for their happiness?

Our life is an open book to our kids. Let’s hope that they are reading something in us that is worthwhile…we might just be amazed to see their focus begin to change!

Karen