Recently, as I was driving in our neighborhood, I noticed a fire hydrant covered completely in a bag that read “NOT IN SERVICE” .
Now try to imagine living in the home near that property and a fire erupts in your house. You call the Fire Department to come but when they arrive it is to no avail because the fire hydrant is NOT IN SERVICE!!!
As I pondered this, my thoughts led me to think about this  in the context of parenting. Likely, there are many children and teens who sometimes (or often) feel this way when it comes to their parents being available for them. Do you just get so busy, doing what you do, as a result you are just not there for your kids? Is making money, being in your comfort zone, putting your expectations and wishes over your kids etc. keeping you from being there when your kids want to be with you the most?
Regretfully, many parents realize, too late, that reaching their own financial, career advancement, relational, and personal goals have taken the place of spending those few short years with the children they loved and wanted to be close to.
Parents, please don’t let your kids frequently see that imaginary “Not in service” sign wrapped around you any longer.
Love,
Karen

Party Loot Bags

When our children were small, at every birthday party there was an expectation that as each visitor left the party they would receive a ‘loot bag’. Typically that was a bag full of candy and dollar store items that sometimes added up to the same cost as the gift the child brought to the party for the birthday child!!

One day I received a rather frantic phone call from my neighbor who had just moved to Ontario from Alberta. Apparently, where she came from that

tradition did not take place and she had a couple of little departing (spoiled and rather outspoken) partiers that were not happy with her because she did not have any loot bags to give them.

Children need to be taught that any gift given to them is just that…a gift.

It never should be expected or whined and fussed about if not given. In a culture where ‘stuff’ is glorified and almost worshipped, it is our job as parents to frequently remind our children that “PEOPLE are more important that things”, and live in such a way ourselves that teaches them we really believe this.

This also applies as they grow up when it comes to teaching them about sex. They need to know that sex is something that is a gift given from one person to another-God’s plan being within marriage-not an expectation or something that ever should be demanded of your spouse or by pressuring another to ‘give me some’. If a young person is taught early to respect the sexual act and when it is talked about in the home it is with proper words and dignity attached to it, this will affect their attitude towards not only the act of sex but to the opposite sex as well!

Love,

Karen

Cause and Effect

The Bible tells us that Parents are not to provoke (exasperate, frustrate) their children. I understand completely. When teasing or provoking used to go too far with me, as a child, I would become so angry and frustrated because I felt helpless and completely out of control.

The Word of God goes even further when it also says “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but sorrow awaits that person through whom they come” Luke 17:1

Parents, are you that person who could possibly be one of the ‘sources’ of the sin that is happening in your children’s lives? Are you unrealistic in your expectations, ignoring, mocking, being sarcastic, putting down or not loving them so much so that they are acting out in anger, frustration and discouragement? Do they not want to serve the God you serve because of your relationship with them?

Please, please make the conscious choice to not be the one who negatively affects your kids. You might unknowingly push them into sin and as a result bring “sorrow’ to your own life as well.

Love,

Karen

When my distraught 15 year old daughter came home to tell me that her best friend was pregnant, my carefully planned and worded “sex talks” went out the window.  It especially changed when my 10 year old son queried…”I thought only married people were supposed to have babies??” Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever fasted for any length of time? Fasting is a pretty interesting discipline that can be such a great learning tool if you let it. One thing that can be learned is that when the fast is over anything feels like a feast compared to the fast.

An observation that I have made, sadly, over the last few years is that parents seem to either ‘feast’ or ‘fast’ when it comes to being emotionally supportive to their kids.

In some families it appears that there is an abundance of time given in order to listen, support and love children deeply and then there are other families where this is missing altogether or rarely seen at all.

I researched some definitions of emotional neglect and this is what I found:

Emotional neglect can be defined as a parent or parents putting their own wishes, goals, needs, and wants above their child’s; marked inattention to the child’s need for affection; any behavior that interferes with a child’s mental health or social development; name-calling, making negative comments or ignoring the emotional needs of a child.

As I write this, I am praying that as parents you will make it your goal to ask God to help you do whatever it takes to become those parents who choose to be the ‘feasting’ family when it comes to being emotionally supportive of your children.

Love,

Karen