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Hey Dad and Mom-“Does your ‘No’ actually mean ‘No’?
Have you ever been in a grocery store and witnessed the following scene?
The child is sitting in the cart whining for the Mom to buy her a candy or toy. The Mom starts by saying ‘No’ but as the child’s volume increases and the ‘hissy-fit’ progresses to a new level, you see the Mom losing her resolve to continue refusing her request. By the time they are finished shopping the child has what she wants…she wins! She has learned a lesson that she will use over and over again…If she whines and fusses and loudly nags a bit more, she will get her way. She has proven the point that Mom’s ‘No’ does not really mean ‘No’!
Parents, if you are giving in regularly to your children’s bugging and pestering to get their way when they are three, I fear for what the teen years are going to be like for you down the road!! Be consistent! I know that it is so much easier to just give in, but for the life and love of your children be strong. Let them know at an early age that your ‘NO’ means ‘NO’!
It is so important that children learn the boundaries at a young age. If the ‘fences’ are continually being permitted to be broken through, later they will likely not respect others’ boundaries as well, and may wind up having difficulties in their classrooms, sports teams, relationships and jobs! Parents must build this foundation for them and teach them what it means to submit to directives while they are still teachable. It is a great disservice to your kids to be inconsistent with them.
For these reasons, please choose to either say ‘Yes’ more frequently than ‘No’, or be willing to stick to your resolve when you have to say ‘No’ with your children.
Karen
P.S. Please know that as a parent myself I am speaking out of a measure of regret and share this with you as a caution not to make the same mistakes I occasionally did with our children!
