When you fly you listen to the flight attendants go over the safety procedures.  Without fail when it comes to the part where they discuss what to do if the oxygen masks come down, they tell us to put on our own mask first before trying to help any others.  As a mom this can sometimes seem kind of backwards because we naturally want to take care of our children first.  But the truth is we can’t help them if we don’t take care of ourselves first.

As we try to raise respectful, successful children who devote their lives to Christ we must remember to put on our own mask first.  This means taking care of our health, devoting time to ourselves, maintaining an atmosphere of romance in our marriages, and most importantly spending time with God.

Today so many moms get it backwards.  We easily slip into devoting our lives to our children, taking them to playgroups, then music class, later to sports practice and the list goes on and on.  In the hustle and bustle of life it is hard to find time for ourselves. 

 As a stay-at-home-mom with a 2 year old and an 8 month old at home I have recently found myself devoting all of my time and attention to their needs forgetting about my own.  In the process I found myself more irritable, worn out, and just lacking true passion for anything.  My wonderful husband quickly brought it to my attention in a loving manner and gave me some time to devote to myself.  I quickly got my passion back for even the littlest things in life and I have made a plan for allowing me more time for myself.  My energy and love for my children has grown as well.

This weekend is Mother’s Day so I challenge you to take some time for yourself and think about how you are taking care of YOU.  Are you wearing your oxygen mask before you attempt to put your children’s on?  Are you taking care of your health, keeping romance alive, and spending time with God?  Start with God and allow Him to give you creativity for the rest.

Sarah Brown

Have you ever been to a live production and were amazed by the lead role’s ability to memorize a ton of lines, act smoothly and appear so calm?…Now imagine the guy who lowers the curtain and cleans up backstage coming out and trying to fill that role.  It would be a disaster, for sure!

     As I thought of this in the context of parenting, I began to realize that sometimes we try to take the place of the Lead Role (God) with our kids. We teach them to become dependant on us and not on God. Do we sometimes act like we have the answers and that as long as we are available, God is just needed for ‘emergencies’ only or as their back-up plan?

     If we are in a habit ourselves of living for God and always including Him in all that we do, our kids will see this. They will learn by our example that “…apart from Him, we can do NOTHING”.

     The next time your child comes to you with a hurt, disappointment or disaster, remember to pray with them first before you give your own wisdom and insight. Teach them that God cares even about the smallest details of their lives.

     Have a great week!

     Love,

     Karen

With the economy the way it is at present, many people have great concerns about being in debt financially. But when it comes to the ‘debt’ they owe their kids, it sometimes gets put on the back burner until it is too late.
Here are a few things that we, as Dad and Mom, ‘owe’ our kids:

1. We owe it to them to teach them what responsibility means.
2. We need to teach them basic living skills-cooking, cleaning, managing money, personal hygiene etc.. before they leave home.  Or, how about things like taking the time to teach them how to ride a bike, throw/kick a ball, swim, or learn a sport that they enjoy?
3. Teach them to pursue who God made them to be, not what we want them to be.
4. They deserve to be taught at a young age where their value comes from…not from their looks, size, intelligence, athletic ability or money but from who God has made them to be.
5. The mindset that says “Our kids are our ‘slaves’” is so wrong…we need to teach them to serve by our example.
6. Above all, we owe it to them to present Jesus Christ to them in such a way that they are drawn to Him by our lives. We can do our best to do this by living our lives trusting Him completely, praying with them and for them and passionately pursuing the life He has planned for us and them!

Romans 13:8 sums it up well!:
“Don’t run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other…”

Love your kids by trying to live debt-free with them…you will not regret this choice!

Love,
Karen

Often parents wonder if their kids are hearing anything they are saying to them…and with reason.

Here are a few clues to help let you know if they are hearing you.

1) If they leave their ear buds in and do not make eye contact with you as you are speaking, assume they are not listening.

2) If you ask them to repeat back what you just said and they mumble, assume you’ve just wasted your breath.

3) If they are sending an email or facebook message while you are talking to them, assume that you will be repeating what you just said shortly.

4) If five minutes after you’ve given them instructions they ask how to do that exact thing, assume they did not hear you!

I heard a woman talking in the bank telling a lady in line that she is all ‘up’ with her teens technology. She said she knew all about MP3 players and was going to buy herself an I-P-O-D (she spelled it as if that is how everyone refers to it!! JJ) SO…

Here some tips on how to bridge the gap so that you may be heard more by your kids.

1) Learn their lingo…don’t use words like ghetto blaster, trousers, sneakers, tapes/records, streaked hair, rouge, knickers, or say things like  hanky-panky, necking, neato, that’s the pits, super-duper, spiffy, indeed, flabbergasted, good gravy etc….cream rinse vs. conditioner; flat iron vs. straightener; Walkman/Discman vs. mp3 player/ipod….

2) Teach by example.  Be fully present when they are talking to you…not multi-tasking. Repeat back to them what you think you just heard them say. (Don’t assume anything)  Make eye contact with them as they talk. Don’t interrupt.  Try to not overreact, no matter what they are saying.

3) Tell them how much you love it when they talk to you.

4) Try to frequently make opportunities for communication to take place between you. ( I always found that at night just before our teens went to sleep they seemed to want to talk the most)

5) Ask God to help you be a better listener.

Keep lovin’ your kids by listening to them…both the spoken and unspoken words!

Karen

Trust!

There was a book circulating around several years back called “Emotions…can you trust them?”

I’d like to see one today entitled “Parents…can you trust them?!!”

I have hung around and worked with teens for over 20 years and it surprises me how many adults look down on them and talk so negatively about them.  In many cases you don’t have to look much further than their home addresses to see why they are behaving the way they are!

I believe that we would see a turn around with the youth of today if the following areas were considered seriously by adults. Parents need to be:

A)  Trustworthy
B)  Trusting God
C)  Trusting our kids

Do your kids trust you?  Have you given them reason to believe that you are dependable, that you keep your promises and that you are trying to be living examples to them of what you are teaching them?

How much do you try to control your kid’s lives?  Do you constantly worry about them?  Have you been passing on your own fears and insecurities to them? OR, do they see you giving them over to God’s care and trusting Him to do His work in their lives?!!

What do you do to let your teens know that you trust them?  Giving them the freedom to build your trust is so important. ( i.e. lending them the car, going away over night and leaving them at home, extending curfew, letting them have their own password on the computer etc.) It’s vitally important to let your children know that their good behavior builds your trust in them and that it CAN be restored!

So parents…can you be trusted?  It’s the question that each of your kids is silently asking every day.

Karen